It’s all Good

It’s starts around the fourth of July for me. That kind of sad, nostalgic feeling that means the end of summertime is closing in. I suppose it has something to do with me spending the majority of my life on a school calendar, but I’ve always assumed everybody gets that feeling.

Beach vacation is behind you, late nights will soon be replaced with bedtimes, and lazy afternoons will be consumed with homework and various practices. Honestly, it’s not all bad for me, because I don’t function nearly as well without something that resembles a routine, but I can’t help but think back to the summer vacays with my boys.

We spent days at a time at my parents’ house, we went night swimming, we took North Georgia day trips, we had lunch dates and sleepovers, I could go on, but you get it, right? Certain smells and songs take me back. I enjoy reminiscing while looking at old photos, and I’d be lying if I said I never think about and miss those times, but I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy my current situation.

Confession time, I didn’t savor every second. Sometimes I “soaked it all in” and sometimes I didn’t. There were days when I was tired and craved some room to breathe. I didn’t take pictures of every milestone. Sometimes I was all in and other times I took a step back. I tried to be soft spoken and patient, but more times than I would like to admit, I was short and probably harsh. My boys received a lot of apologies from me, because their mom was human, which means imperfection.

Being a parent is the single most important assignment that I have ever been given. I can say that I did the best I could with what I had at the time, but it’s hard. You spend so much of your time second guessing yourself and feeling guilty for what you did, as well as what you didn’t do. Your heart is not your own anymore. Actually, nothing that used to be yours is your own anymore. Not your time, not your relationships, not even your thoughts, but it’s all good, you’d choose it over and over again, weird, I know.

It has been my experience, that there’s a major ebb and flow, when it comes to bringing up your family too. Sometimes it’s super fun and sweet, but then there are times when it’s so insanely busy, and you’re just doing what you gotta do, and that’s completely normal, but you can’t get so obsessed with one stage that you don’t appreciate the one that follows, if that makes sense.

You know the posts and reels that lay out how many summers and Santas you get with your kiddos? Well, all those are long gone for me, and guess what, my kids are still here, and we’re still having fun!! Those posts mean well, but they make it sound as though once all of those things come to an end, that’s it, you’re done, there’s nothing left for you to look forward to. I’m here to say, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Don’t spend so much time dwelling on the past that you miss the now!

Enjoy it all for what it is. Each stage is different, and some are more “fun” than others. To be honest, there were times when I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t even like me, and I know for a fact I didn’t like them, but we didn’t stay there. It passed, and now I can say that my mom is my best friend, without a doubt.

We really love to hang out with our adult kids. We’re still mom and dad, but it’s different now. They will always be our babies, but now they are a part of our circle. They’re not just our kids, they’re our people, and I really love it. It’s a cool place.

I guess I said all of this to say, it’s all good. If your current space is difficult, you’re not gonna live there. It’s gonna pass. If you’re in a sweet space, enjoy it, but don’t beat yourself up if you’re too tired to “take it all in.” We’ve all been there. If you’re in that space where you really don’t “feel” much of anything, but you’re showing up every day, you’re winning, just be aware of becoming complacent, you have to keep moving. If you feel too much distraction closing in, shut it off. Your family deserves your time, and you’ll regret not giving it to them.

If you’re new to the parent club, celebrate the wins, both big and small, brush off the fails, they’re gonna happen, forgive yourself, guilt can be crippling, and go into each day with the intention to give all that you can, which will vary from day to day. Life is short, time is indeed a thief, and they’re right, babies don’t keep, but they were never meant to.